Missing!

Written 14/02/07

What is that feeling…lack of feeling that is there when you reminisce, when you remember, when you touch your memories?
Why is there a missing link or black hole when it comes to remembering the taste, sensation and utter joy of chocolate slipping down your throat, the sensation of that excruciating physical pain you felt for days, the gentle yet passionate kiss of a sweet person, the touch, voice and smell of a dead loved one.
You have the memories, your body reacts the way it did or should and yet there is emptiness.
You cant “feel” that kiss.
You cant “smell” their scent.
You cant “taste” the chocolate and you cant “feel” the pain.
Of course you cant…you aren’t there or experiencing it at the moment but when you touch the memories part of you expects to “feel” every sensation again.
You cant, even if you truly want to with all your heart.
Besides the memories of pain the others spark little hopes and dreams.
You know you can and will taste chocolate again.
Your memories keep your loved one alive with in you and because you loved, even though it pains, you want to feel that again and you wish to feel lips touch yours again.
This empty, confused, missing link is what pushes humanity forward.
To keep living and loving. We want to “feel” everything.
Pain, touch, taste, pounding heartbeat!
We want to know we are alive, we want to be alive, we want to feel alive.