Do you really see me....or me you?

To go from screaming in pain, tears rushing down your face, your body shaking and rocking uncontrollably to switching it all off in a second. Your face goes hard and cold looking, you dont recognize the death mask but you dont care, the vulnerability is gone. The anger and fear go back to their rightful home in the pit of your dead stomach. You stand up, straight and taller then ever before! You feel the barriers come crashing down around you and you dont care that their struts burst through your skin, drive through every muscle, and lodge in your heart, they keep you 'protected'. Your legs buckle under the pressure but you like the physical pain.It pushes you. To lock your pain away your stomach muscles tighten so much you want to throw up. Your chest rises less and less as if a proper breath would let your heart free. You dont care. To finish off you bring a delicate veil over your body so people see pink around you. Your lips curl into a smile, you even know which muscles to move around your eyes to make them look more alive. Spoken to, you control your voice. You are a deception, a fake, a lier and a damn fine actress. Everyone is deceptive but to watch your skill is frightening... and a lesson.