4 August 2011

How do you mend the break before it happens?

My heart is struggling to keep itself locked away. Its holding tight to its chains but you are pulling it free…with tears in its eyes its hoping that you can…that you will.

How do you stop your heart spiralling into love when you know the one you love could be gone faster then you can comprehend? How do you mend the break before it happens? How do you forgive a world that is tearing you apart or how do you accept promises that will take the one you cherish away from you? How do you forget a person who is perfect even in his flaws? How do you pick yourself up when you feel no strength or life left?

I cant leave you go. Music is sweeter with you. Food is more life giving. Adventure is more thrilling. Peace is real. Tears fall faster and my heart cant believe its over just as it accepts you.

I pray if this ends I find strength like ive never known before for its impossible to recover from someone who has never hurt you, never left you fall, taught you what kindness is and made you believe in love.


Maybe it wont be me that comes out of the flames. Maybe im not supposed to get back up this time.

18 June 2011

Paths

Cant help thinking back and feeling the past. Cant help wondering at the blatantly obvious times i had to choose between many paths. Sometimes i ran through the cross roads without looking and sometimes i sat in the middle taking a look down each one and deciding on which path was the best for me. Each time the one thought that ran through my mind was 'please let this choice be for my higher self and higher purpose. Lead me to where my destiny lies.' Thing is, each time i knew the path would lead me to my destiny, i was just deciding on the route. Was it going to be a mountainous climb, was i going to be dragged under waves or was i going to ride them and float over the mountains.

I regret a lot and yet i regret nothing. I regret hurting people and i regret being hurt. Yet, if i hadnt taught you youd never learn and if you hadnt taught me id never learn. Im sorry for the pain but i hope your eyes open that bit more...to what, i dont know.

The paths i didnt choose niggle at the memories in my mind. Some my heart deeply regret, some i know i didnt need. Some of the most painful mountains i climbed i could see coming but i didnt stop. Even when the confusion blinded me and the pain crippled. There was no point in stopping when the lesson is one of the greatest you will learn.

In the end though, how can you regret your choices if you have chosen with your eyes wide open to every possible outcome. Your heart may hurt, your mind may be battered but your soul is stronger then ever. Once your soul regrets nothing the heart and mind will follow.

The taste of change can be sweet or very very bitter but it will always excite your adrenaline. Learn to enjoy its effects in your blood and let it drive you head long through the change, your heart pumping with an adrenaline fuelled grin, your mind sucking up the lessons and beauty to be learnt and your soul driving!

Dont listen to people who think they know you. Only you know yourself and if you cant hear your own voice, selfish peoples advice will deafen you further. Once you can hear your own tone you will hear the beautiful tones of your true friends voices. Dont follow the mundane unless you can see that path freeing your heart soon. If you doubt dont go. If its hurts leave.

You will always be thrown into a space thats 'not' working and you will be pummelled with the paths you didnt take but theres no turning back. You know in the darkest part of your being you either keep going or give up. Keep going. Push through as the deep breath you are given, once your through, is amazing and the beginning of a new life. At the end of these lessons you are always given a gift. Learn to see them no matter how small. Be thankful. The huge gifts you are given place in your heart and forever show thanks for them. Never let them go. They are the weapons and warriors life gives you to fight through the next struggle or the flowers and friends that dance in the gentle paths with you. Once you’ve reached your destiny, they are the gifts you will die with by your side. Fulfilled and happy.

19 October 2010

Freed

Written 19/03/10

The child walked into the wind, she felt it caress her skin as it gently helped her fade. It spoke in a whisper only she could hear. "nothing will make a tear fall from your eye again. No hand, no words spoken, no blackened heart. You are to be freed." She smiled, feeling the release. She listened to the music swirl around her, music she had heard many times before, knowing she would follow it someday. Today was that day and she felt it carry her away. Her heart melting in its love and the winds embrace.

Always to be but never again.