written 09/04/10
Sitting surrounded by trees, with the spring summer smell engulfing me, the suns light making me internally glow and the birds singing me into stillness. Mother Nature is truly the greatest carer, healer and teacher.
I watched an insect fly around a flower for ages and after a while it was joined by a second one. They seemed to dance around each other, sometimes connecting, sometimes making a swirl in the air, just playing. Then one left and the one left behind went back to the flower, until two more came. They played, then left. Again the single one went back to the flower. It went on like this for ages, the single one being joined by one, four, two and so on. But he/she always went back to the flower once they were alone. I couldnt help thinking that was like life and what it should be. People, friends, even lovers and soulmates can be there one minute and then gone the next. Play with them and live them fully and if they do leave for what ever reason instead of flying away or...to a pile of shit, fly to the flower and inhale its incense in the sunshine.
19 October 2010
6 July 2010
Questions and answers fix nothing and everything?
How do you trust when your trust is broken more often then respected and held tight?
How do you forget the past when the present is dotted with replicas of the past?
How do you forgive when your heart is still crying from the pain?
How do you explain the pulsing emotion that would throw your body in front of a bus to save that of your siblings?
How do you explain to someone who has never experienced it what it feels like to hear someone you care about and love deeply breathing beside you?
How could you not feel that care emanating from your solar when the baby grasps your finger as if you are the only one in the universe who will love it and bring it through life safely?
How can you not be awed when an animal stares through your eyes into your soul?
How can you not feel your heart rip and the guilt flow when you watch an animal be tortured for human gain?
How do you not realise when you drive and you kill someone it was your actions in the car that killed them? You were controlling the inanimate object that killed them.
How do you explain in words the fear of your loved ones heart ever stopping?
How do you breath … survive if their heart did stop forever? Why would you?
How do you deny the half that is happy to heal the half that is not?
How do you rid your life of one who created so much beauty but added more pain?
How do you spill the blood of another and feel nothing? And yet…
How do you explain you would kill to revenge the life and spirit you loved that was taken from you?
How do you stop the overflow of emotions that control your actions without denying the foundations of being human?
How can you not feel the pulse from the tree?
How can you not be in awe of the tree that looms over your weak body?
How can you not see your body is the only being that will decide if you live or die? It stops, you stop.
How do you get the human world to hear and see the damage money and greed is doing?
How do you explain the rush, the caress, the hug, the healing or the strength music can give you?
How do you get the close minded to open their minds?
How do you get someone who wants to but cant to talk or someone who cant even recognise they need to speak to open?
How do you show vulnerability is strength not a weakness?
How have you never gotten lost in the winds whisper or the waters caress?
How do you explain the understanding you have of why someone would take their own life?
How do you explain everything from the untouchable to the touchable is an emotion to you and not just a thing or something?
How do you explain why you love someone you shouldn’t and don’t love someone you should?
How can you be so naive to think yours is the only and ‘true’ religion, belief, and life style for the billions of humans on this earth?
How can you be so blind as not to realise the Earth is not immortal and we can kill it?
How do you feel the strength that resides in you when your eyes never want to open again?
How can you not think of the possible outcomes of your actions?
How can you not realise there are many reactions to your one action and they are not all good?
How can you see your self so above someone else you take control of his or her life?
How do you get someone to understand the utter joy and freedom you feel when you leave your inner child out to play with no fear, guilt or pain?
How do you explain what is that you feel when you see a loved ones genuine smile directed at you?
How can you expect that everyone thinks the same way as you or not accept everyone sees, hears, feels, thinks, touches, expresses, senses, loves, hates, hurts so incredibly differently to you and each other?
How do you explain all the contradictions within the human mind?
How can you not question?
Many answers are found in science, religion, philosophy, the reaction of your body, the minds of your friends or the eyes of your love but the answers don’t matter until you can truly ‘feel’ them settle within you and you truly understand them. Some answers will sooth you heart, some questions are the wrong ones to ask, some answers stir up more questions, some questions and answers clear new paths. Some answers will never come.
How do you forget the past when the present is dotted with replicas of the past?
How do you forgive when your heart is still crying from the pain?
How do you explain the pulsing emotion that would throw your body in front of a bus to save that of your siblings?
How do you explain to someone who has never experienced it what it feels like to hear someone you care about and love deeply breathing beside you?
How could you not feel that care emanating from your solar when the baby grasps your finger as if you are the only one in the universe who will love it and bring it through life safely?
How can you not be awed when an animal stares through your eyes into your soul?
How can you not feel your heart rip and the guilt flow when you watch an animal be tortured for human gain?
How do you not realise when you drive and you kill someone it was your actions in the car that killed them? You were controlling the inanimate object that killed them.
How do you explain in words the fear of your loved ones heart ever stopping?
How do you breath … survive if their heart did stop forever? Why would you?
How do you deny the half that is happy to heal the half that is not?
How do you rid your life of one who created so much beauty but added more pain?
How do you spill the blood of another and feel nothing? And yet…
How do you explain you would kill to revenge the life and spirit you loved that was taken from you?
How do you stop the overflow of emotions that control your actions without denying the foundations of being human?
How can you not feel the pulse from the tree?
How can you not be in awe of the tree that looms over your weak body?
How can you not see your body is the only being that will decide if you live or die? It stops, you stop.
How do you get the human world to hear and see the damage money and greed is doing?
How do you explain the rush, the caress, the hug, the healing or the strength music can give you?
How do you get the close minded to open their minds?
How do you get someone who wants to but cant to talk or someone who cant even recognise they need to speak to open?
How do you show vulnerability is strength not a weakness?
How have you never gotten lost in the winds whisper or the waters caress?
How do you explain the understanding you have of why someone would take their own life?
How do you explain everything from the untouchable to the touchable is an emotion to you and not just a thing or something?
How do you explain why you love someone you shouldn’t and don’t love someone you should?
How can you be so naive to think yours is the only and ‘true’ religion, belief, and life style for the billions of humans on this earth?
How can you be so blind as not to realise the Earth is not immortal and we can kill it?
How do you feel the strength that resides in you when your eyes never want to open again?
How can you not think of the possible outcomes of your actions?
How can you not realise there are many reactions to your one action and they are not all good?
How can you see your self so above someone else you take control of his or her life?
How do you get someone to understand the utter joy and freedom you feel when you leave your inner child out to play with no fear, guilt or pain?
How do you explain what is that you feel when you see a loved ones genuine smile directed at you?
How can you expect that everyone thinks the same way as you or not accept everyone sees, hears, feels, thinks, touches, expresses, senses, loves, hates, hurts so incredibly differently to you and each other?
How do you explain all the contradictions within the human mind?
How can you not question?
Many answers are found in science, religion, philosophy, the reaction of your body, the minds of your friends or the eyes of your love but the answers don’t matter until you can truly ‘feel’ them settle within you and you truly understand them. Some answers will sooth you heart, some questions are the wrong ones to ask, some answers stir up more questions, some questions and answers clear new paths. Some answers will never come.
1 December 2009
There is always one.
Written 29/11/09
I can't see through the tears,
I don't know why I'm even brushing my teeth.
Am i getting myself ready to be presented to God?
My minds screaming and wailing in pain.
I don't even want to stop crying anymore.
It just happens. The stabbing pain in my gut just keeps throbbing, keeps my breath breaking.
I can't see my face in the mirror, the tears blind me,
but my hands still find the soap.
They still gently wash my tear soaked face with soft, warming water.
They still search for and find the towel to dab my face dry before the tears soak it again.
My blind eyes cant even see my glasses but my steady hands always find them.
My mind shakes uncontrollably, my breath comes in painful sobs but my legs stand strong.
My hands dress me, ready for sleep.
My fingers turn on and off lights.
My legs guide me to bed.
My eyes always releasing their tears.
My hands take the bobble down and smooth my hair around my face.
They pull the covers over my body and hide me away.
Now i can cry into my pillow as my knees curl up to my chest, my arms covering my breaking heart. Protecting, stopping me from falling apart.
My mind maybe screaming, my heart feels as if its dieing but my body keeps going.
"There is always one part of you that can keep going."
I can't see through the tears,
I don't know why I'm even brushing my teeth.
Am i getting myself ready to be presented to God?
My minds screaming and wailing in pain.
I don't even want to stop crying anymore.
It just happens. The stabbing pain in my gut just keeps throbbing, keeps my breath breaking.
I can't see my face in the mirror, the tears blind me,
but my hands still find the soap.
They still gently wash my tear soaked face with soft, warming water.
They still search for and find the towel to dab my face dry before the tears soak it again.
My blind eyes cant even see my glasses but my steady hands always find them.
My mind shakes uncontrollably, my breath comes in painful sobs but my legs stand strong.
My hands dress me, ready for sleep.
My fingers turn on and off lights.
My legs guide me to bed.
My eyes always releasing their tears.
My hands take the bobble down and smooth my hair around my face.
They pull the covers over my body and hide me away.
Now i can cry into my pillow as my knees curl up to my chest, my arms covering my breaking heart. Protecting, stopping me from falling apart.
My mind maybe screaming, my heart feels as if its dieing but my body keeps going.
"There is always one part of you that can keep going."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)