Cant help thinking back and feeling the past. Cant help wondering at the blatantly obvious times i had to choose between many paths. Sometimes i ran through the cross roads without looking and sometimes i sat in the middle taking a look down each one and deciding on which path was the best for me. Each time the one thought that ran through my mind was 'please let this choice be for my higher self and higher purpose. Lead me to where my destiny lies.' Thing is, each time i knew the path would lead me to my destiny, i was just deciding on the route. Was it going to be a mountainous climb, was i going to be dragged under waves or was i going to ride them and float over the mountains.
I regret a lot and yet i regret nothing. I regret hurting people and i regret being hurt. Yet, if i hadnt taught you youd never learn and if you hadnt taught me id never learn. Im sorry for the pain but i hope your eyes open that bit more...to what, i dont know.
The paths i didnt choose niggle at the memories in my mind. Some my heart deeply regret, some i know i didnt need. Some of the most painful mountains i climbed i could see coming but i didnt stop. Even when the confusion blinded me and the pain crippled. There was no point in stopping when the lesson is one of the greatest you will learn.
In the end though, how can you regret your choices if you have chosen with your eyes wide open to every possible outcome. Your heart may hurt, your mind may be battered but your soul is stronger then ever. Once your soul regrets nothing the heart and mind will follow.
The taste of change can be sweet or very very bitter but it will always excite your adrenaline. Learn to enjoy its effects in your blood and let it drive you head long through the change, your heart pumping with an adrenaline fuelled grin, your mind sucking up the lessons and beauty to be learnt and your soul driving!
Dont listen to people who think they know you. Only you know yourself and if you cant hear your own voice, selfish peoples advice will deafen you further. Once you can hear your own tone you will hear the beautiful tones of your true friends voices. Dont follow the mundane unless you can see that path freeing your heart soon. If you doubt dont go. If its hurts leave.
You will always be thrown into a space thats 'not' working and you will be pummelled with the paths you didnt take but theres no turning back. You know in the darkest part of your being you either keep going or give up. Keep going. Push through as the deep breath you are given, once your through, is amazing and the beginning of a new life. At the end of these lessons you are always given a gift. Learn to see them no matter how small. Be thankful. The huge gifts you are given place in your heart and forever show thanks for them. Never let them go. They are the weapons and warriors life gives you to fight through the next struggle or the flowers and friends that dance in the gentle paths with you. Once you’ve reached your destiny, they are the gifts you will die with by your side. Fulfilled and happy.
18 June 2011
19 October 2010
Freed
Written 19/03/10
The child walked into the wind, she felt it caress her skin as it gently helped her fade. It spoke in a whisper only she could hear. "nothing will make a tear fall from your eye again. No hand, no words spoken, no blackened heart. You are to be freed." She smiled, feeling the release. She listened to the music swirl around her, music she had heard many times before, knowing she would follow it someday. Today was that day and she felt it carry her away. Her heart melting in its love and the winds embrace.
Always to be but never again.
The child walked into the wind, she felt it caress her skin as it gently helped her fade. It spoke in a whisper only she could hear. "nothing will make a tear fall from your eye again. No hand, no words spoken, no blackened heart. You are to be freed." She smiled, feeling the release. She listened to the music swirl around her, music she had heard many times before, knowing she would follow it someday. Today was that day and she felt it carry her away. Her heart melting in its love and the winds embrace.
Always to be but never again.
hhhmmmmmm........
written 09/04/10
Sitting surrounded by trees, with the spring summer smell engulfing me, the suns light making me internally glow and the birds singing me into stillness. Mother Nature is truly the greatest carer, healer and teacher.
I watched an insect fly around a flower for ages and after a while it was joined by a second one. They seemed to dance around each other, sometimes connecting, sometimes making a swirl in the air, just playing. Then one left and the one left behind went back to the flower, until two more came. They played, then left. Again the single one went back to the flower. It went on like this for ages, the single one being joined by one, four, two and so on. But he/she always went back to the flower once they were alone. I couldnt help thinking that was like life and what it should be. People, friends, even lovers and soulmates can be there one minute and then gone the next. Play with them and live them fully and if they do leave for what ever reason instead of flying away or...to a pile of shit, fly to the flower and inhale its incense in the sunshine.
Sitting surrounded by trees, with the spring summer smell engulfing me, the suns light making me internally glow and the birds singing me into stillness. Mother Nature is truly the greatest carer, healer and teacher.
I watched an insect fly around a flower for ages and after a while it was joined by a second one. They seemed to dance around each other, sometimes connecting, sometimes making a swirl in the air, just playing. Then one left and the one left behind went back to the flower, until two more came. They played, then left. Again the single one went back to the flower. It went on like this for ages, the single one being joined by one, four, two and so on. But he/she always went back to the flower once they were alone. I couldnt help thinking that was like life and what it should be. People, friends, even lovers and soulmates can be there one minute and then gone the next. Play with them and live them fully and if they do leave for what ever reason instead of flying away or...to a pile of shit, fly to the flower and inhale its incense in the sunshine.
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